Land-lubberin' Fer Love

First, a little about himself, the so-called hero of this story:

His name is Nicholas Swift, but he's commonly known as Bonnie Nicky--or just as commonly, as Nicky Swiftleathers, since he's something of a coward and will run from most fights, unless he's sure he can win. I think he's about 30 years old, born sometime around 1640 in the town of Bantry in County Cork, Ireland. Nicky isn't much of a fighter, but he's quick-witted, scheming and a little unpredictable, being as he is also more than slightly crazy. He gets even crazier when drunk. He has an enormous ego and thinks of himself as a great lover. His women tend to humor him, since he likes to buy them things. He also steals women, and always has a bevy of them around him. He is an arrogant loudmouth who can be extremely violent, if actually cornered and forced to fight. He claims to have a ship by the name of Órflaith (Golden Princess, and pronounced OR-la), but I don't know if I believe him or not. He often stretches the truth about his wealth, status, and exploits, so you can never be sure what to believe.

I think he's a pretty silly fellow. (^-^) He's not only an infamous swasher of buckles but also a notorious pincher of women's bottoms.


And now, the story:

"Land-lubberin' Fer Love"
©2005 Kaichi Satake

Bonnie Nicky Swift swept through the Dublin market stalls, halfway dancing a jig to cover up the sway of his sea-leg stagger. He sang his favorite drinking song as he went along, winking at the ladies and waving at the children as if he was just another yokel drunk off the latest wagon from Galway, and not a dastardly pirate on the prowl for some land-bound fun.

His trilling tenor barely rose above the din of the market. "Ohhhhh, if I get drank, well the money's me own, and them don't like it they can leave me alone! I'll tune me fiddle, and rosin me bow, aaand I'll be welcome, wherever I go!"

He paused to make a sweet little bow to an old fishwife, who merely sneered at him and huffed her attention back to her mackerel. That didn't bother him. He kept right on singing and swinging merrily through the crowd.

"Toora-loora-loo, toora-loora-lay, toora-loora--LORD!" he yelped, and stopped short, his eyes wide and fixed upon the very large, green-skirted bottom of a woman, who was bent over a vegetable bin. Nicky licked his lips with a smack, and put both hands on his hips, staring at her generous bum. "Ohhh! Lord strike me dead if that ain't the finest bottom I ever seen! I got to pinches it, I does!"

His lips turned up in a big grin, and he melodramatically snuck up on her. Just as he reached her, he stuck out his tongue, leaned forward and pinched the bejeezus out of her.

"EEEEEEEK!!!" she shrieked, popping up and spinning toward him in a flurry of red curls. Her right hand was already swinging around to slap her attacker, but she missed. Nicky ducked and half tackled her around the waist, trying to toss her over his shoulder in the same motion. But she was heavier than he expected, so his eyes bulged out and he huffed as he hefted her up.

"OOF!!" he grunted, "Is a solid gold bottom, it is!"

The woman squirmed, furiously kicked her feet, and pummeled his back with her fists, yelling at the top of her lungs. "Put me down, ya filthy pig! Put me down! I'll kill ya for a dirty dog!!"

"Haha!" he hooted, slapping her bottom. "She's a fire in her, too! What a fortune we're having!" He smiled appreciatively at her squirming bottom, and then happily rubbed it. "Stay yerself, me velvet heifer! Meself'll take good care of that fine bottom!"

"EEEEEEK!!!" she shrieked, again, squirming all the more fiercely. "Let me go! Let me GO!!"

The other market-goers paid no attention to them, so Nicky just staggered off with his prize, trying to keep her wriggling body balanced on his shoulder. Her shrieking continued, as did her pounding of his back with her fists, but he didn't seem to mind it. He kept right on singing, now louder and happier than ever.

"Ohhhh, when I'm dead and in my grave, no costly tombstone shall I have! Just lay me down in my native peat with a jug of punch at my head and OOF!" He winced as one of her blows knocked the breath out of him, then continued on with his song, still lumbering down the road toward the port. "Toora-loora-loo, toora-loora-lay, toora-loora-loo, toora-loora-lay! Just lay me down in my native peat with a jug of punch at my head and feeeeeet!"

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My New Comic: Angels of the Sword

I thought I'd toss a post over here about my new comic, Angels of the Sword. I haven't been using this blog for anything besides posting to other people's blogs, so I figured it would be nice to put one post up that isn't "This Isn't It." Here's a preview of what the art looks like:



Anyway, my long-awaited new music comic, Angels of the Sword, is finally here! This is another very big project for me, and I've been developing it for almost a full year, now. It's based in part on my own life, and because of that, it's been extremely difficult to write, at times. But it's also been cathartic, in that the more of my pain I can throw onto Jax (the main character), the better I feel about myself, and about life, in general. Dealing with these issues--some of which I have kept repressed for decades!--is helping me to heal, in a way that therapists and counselors never could. I'm hoping it will serve a dual purpose, and be entertaining to those of you who enjoyed ShadowFall and my other projects.

The story involves the members of a regionally-successful rock band, and follows their personal trials and victories. The star of the series is Jackson "Jax" Ray, vocalist and lead guitarist for the band, Angels of the Sword. He's 26 years old, a gifted musician, and an emotional firestorm. Troubles jump on him like flies on fresh manure. He's also a child abuse survivor who carries a lifetime of vicious trauma in his heart, and this affects how he deals with his problems. He sometimes reacts in unusual or unexpected ways, and thus occasionally ends up making things even worse.

Jax's dark personality is balanced out by the other core band members, Paul Stern and Mason James. Paul, the rhythm guitarist, is the jokester, the always-happy "normal" guy. Mason, who plays drums, is too laid back to let anything much bother him, the sort of guy who will just leave to solve a problem, if he can. Into this odd mixture comes Kain Truce, the replacement for their old bassist, Sammy Paige. Kain is a naive girl of 22, spoiled, irresponsible, and a little wild. Her arrival will be the emotional equivalent of dropping a block of ice into a vat of boiling oil.

I'm approaching this story much differently than I have any of my other projects, and am working in black and white, instead of greyscale. Everything is inked, and drawn in my usual semi-realistic style, but with the heavy contrast of some of the American comics of the "B&W revival" of the 1980s. I'm working smaller, as well, so I'm able to do the art much faster than I was able to do ShadowFall. This means I'm more likely to be able to keep up the work, without burning out so fast.

I have no set update schedule for Angels, because I'll be releasing it in complete scenes, rather than daily- or tri-weekly updates. However long it takes me to complete a scene will determine the length of time between updates, and this will depend on the length and complexity of the scene in question. Most seem to be 8-12 pages long, with the first one being 12 pages. I think this method of updating will be much more satisfying for readers, and will also make it easier to keep up with what's going on in such a long storyline. I've got the main page set up with a descriptive scenes dropdown list, so that it will be easy to find the beginning of the latest scenes. I urge new readers to sign up for the newsletter, as that will be the most reliable method of finding out when new scenes have been added.

I hope you enjoy the story! Please feel free to give me feedback on any aspect of it, as I want to do my best to keep the quality as high as possible. You can comment in this blog entry, in the shoutbox or blog on my website, in the forums, or send it to me privately, via email. I look forward to sharing more of the story with you! Come by and see me!

This is not it.

This isn't my real blog. My real blog is on my website, at http://www.kyokipress.com/shadowfall/